I looked at her and said, “What the hell would I want a maxi pad for?”

“In case you get a nosebleed,” was the response.  I stared at her in shock, then she started giggling.  “No, these are for eating.” She took out a pack, opened it up, and popped a small marshmallow in her mouth. 

Yes, that’s right, these are marshmallow candies designed to look like sanitary napkins.  I asked what the Chinese characters on the front said, and it was something like “soft cotton women accessory” or something like that.  Combine that with the Hello Kitty-esque logo, and it looks completely authentic.

But wait, there’s more!  Here are Queer-Aid bandages made of chocolate.

Apparently they also have candies named “Meth” and “Amphetamines” and “Viagra.” Unfortunately these come from Taiwan and aren’t available here in Beijing, so don’t ask me to buy you any to give to your brother-in-law for Christmas.