Monday, June 30, 2008

You Mei You Yingwen Caidan?

One of the great things about Chinese restaurants is the creative way in which they name dishes.  You’ll find menu items called things like “Feast of One Hundred Happinesses” or “The Dog’s Leftovers.” Unlike menus in the west, Chinese menus almost never include a description of what is in the dish, just the Chinese characters and (occasionally) an English translation.  This is all well and good if you are Chinese and know what these dishes are made from, but if you’re an ignorant barbarian lao wei like me you’re screwed.  With the Olympics just over a month away the government, in their quest to strip everything unique and interesting out of the city before the fat assed tourists arrive for the games, has released a list of suggested translations for these types of dishes.  Here’s a few of the funnier ones.

清蒸童子鸡: Steamed Spring Chicken. This is the dish annoyingily oft referred to as steamed “chicken without a sexual life.” A translator with grace who was trying to keep it literal would probably use “virgin chicken” (more as in the sense of not having reached adulthood). “Chicken without a sexual life” is as deliberately awkward a translation as going up to a bartender and ordering a drink “margarita without a sexual life.”

This was one of the first weird menu items I saw here.  I just about wet myself laughing.

蚂蚁上树: Sautéed Vermicelli with Spicy Minced Pork. Literally it is “ants climb up a tree,” a metaphorical name. Before people snicker, stop and think about “pigs in a blanket.”

One of the restaurants near my office has “ants climbing up a tree” on the menu, it’s actually quite good.  Just imagine noodles with little bits of pork on them, it looks just like ants on a tree.

口水鸡: “Steamed Chicken with Chili Sauce.” Literally, “saliva chicken,” or more colloquially “chicken which causes you to salivate.”

One of the other restaurants near my office has this on the menu, only they call it “Sichuan Slobber Chicken.” If you look at the characters in the beginning of this name, the first is kǒu and means “mouth.” The second, shuǐ, means “water.” When you put them together in a sentence they mean “saliva.” The last character, jī, means “chicken.” What’s interesting about that is that the English term “mouth-watering” would be both a more literal and descriptively accurate substitution—Mouth-Watering Chicken. 

Click the link and check out the list, there’s some really funny stuff in there.