Monday, July 28, 2008

Fuck Yeah

What a fucking weekend!

The reunion was amazing.  I can’t describe how much fun I had.  This was EXACTLY what I needed.  Christ, just the stories from people were amazing.  My friend Scott reminded me of the time he and I built a bazooka out of a piece of pipe and some bottle rockets.  One guy would hold the pipe over his shoulder, then the other would light the bottle rocket, stick it in the pipe, and block the end off with a piece of wood.  One night he and I got shitfaced and decided to go shoot rockets at stuff.  First off was—I shit you not—a gas station.  We stood in the darkness of a parking lot and shot a lit bottle rocket across an intersection at a row of gas pumps.  Fortunately (or unfortunately?) nothing exploded.

Next we thought moving targets would make for better sport so we decided to shoot at cars.  We found a great sniper perch in the greenery outside an elementary school.  The game was to hide in the bushes, then shoot the rockets at cars as they came down the road, the idea being to bounce the fireworks off the window of the car. 

We did this to about six cars.  Number seven turned out to be a Harris County Sheriff’s Deputy.  He flipped on his lights and jumped the curb.  Scott and I dropped our weapon and took off running through the playground of the school.  The cop car came flying across the grass but he was blocked by the playground equipment.  Scott and I were running for our lives, and luckily this cop was a big fat bastard who ran about ten feet before giving up.  We managed to get to the end of the playground and scale the fence—I’ve never climbed a fence that quickly before.  Once we got over the fence and realized that Johnny Law was wheezing and heaving back by his police cruiser we stared yelling “Fuck you!” at him as we ran into the darkness.

Good times, man. 

As I was driving home today, hung over and light-headed from two days of drinking and lack of sleep, I had a real moment.  I was in my rental car, a red Grand Prix which had some serious oomph to it, driving north up the freeway.  It was almost 100 here today, hotter than shit.  It was a gorgeous Texas summer, so I opened the sun roof and rolled down all the windows.  I had the radio cranked and “Crazy Bitch” by Buckcherry came on.  I fucking floored the car.  There I was, hauling ass at about 90 mph up the freeway, listening to some kick-ass rock played way too loud, with the Texas sun beating down on me, and all I could think was fuck yeah!

I live in China.  But at that moment, I was in fucking America.  And it was awesome.

So, in about four hours my hungover ass will be on the next plane back to Commieland.  I am looking forward, though, to a nice cold Yanjing.

Fuck yeah.