Green Head Rising
I learned a fascinating little thing today about Chinese culture. When you want to say that a man’s wife or girlfriend as been cheating on him you say “He wears a green hat.” I asked my Chinese workers about this, trying to find out where the expression came from, and none of them knew. Everyone knew about it, but they didn’t know the origin.
Tonight I had Chinese class and she told me the story. In Chinese mythology there is a story about a male and a female turtle. The female turtle decided to have hot, steamy relations with a snake. So while the snake and the turtle were fucking the male turtle, to presumably disguise himself, covered his head with a leaf (i.e. a green hat) so that he could observe their copulation. Thus a green hat is seen as a mark of shame, and you will never, ever see a Chinese male (outside the army) wearing a green hat. It is also considered bad form to give a turtle to a man as a gift. So if you have a Chinese friend and want to buy them something, skip the jade turtles because they’re seen as insulting.
This has, of course, led to inevitable cultural faux pas as American ventures which open in China will give their employees hats and t-shirts, and often times they will be green. A Chinese male would rather cut his own head off than wear a green cap. This got me thinking about the Olympics. How many countries use green as their colors? The Pakistanis and the Aussies are two who come to mind. So while all the lao wei are tooling around here during the games wearing their green hats, the Chinese will look down upon them as ignorant, disgraced fools.
If you’re an Oakland A’s fan, leave your cap at home.
